Wednesday, 18 August 2010

What would make the perfect private cinema?

Okay, I would like...

A big round stone hut. At the back of a big garden.

A sign in front of the hut with those black letters you re-assemble to say the name of the film. You have to climb up a small ladder to update the sign.

A small tree-lined avenue lit with fairy lights to reach it.

Red carpet? You betcha! Only on premiere nights though :)

Missmatched bucket seats and sofa so people can drag them where they need them

Usherette with a tray of snacks. Essential. She must shine a light in the face of people talking once the film has started. Talking is allowed during trailers so long as you keep your voice down - not everyone thinks you're funny.

No ads. NO ADS!

All films come with a short pre-feature to build antication

Occasional film festivals and all-nighters

Okay, what would your perfect home cinema experience be?


  1. My theatre would be filled with love seats, which are perfect to cozy up with that special someone...or sprawl a bit more if it's just yerself.

    I would have a strict 'No Texting" rule.

    Every friday would be double feature night, ie THE DIRTY DOZEN followed by INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

    And all of the snacks would be my wife's awesome baked goods (which you can sorta hear us munching on in my most recent podcast episode).

  2. Haha! I shall certainly check out your podcast. Baked goods sound awesome, and more munchy than crunchy which makes them perfect for movies (though I am a popcorn freak myself).

    Ah yes, double features! Absolutely! My huge shame is I like to catch up on older movies but I've never seen THE DIRTY DOZEN.

    EASY RIDER followed by FEAR AND LOATHING, maybe...?

  3. That'd be a good'n. Of course, for that one you'd have to make sure your snack hostess has brownies on her tray.

    One of my go-to's is always SEVEN SAMURAI followed by A BUG'S LIFE. Then again, there's always THE GREAT ESCAPE followed by CHICKEN RUN.

    We had a small double-feature discussion during another recent episode of my podcast. (Cripes, have I plugged my own work enough today or what?).

  4. Oh, you're welcome to plug away. It's not spam, Mister Hatter, it's a rich, nutritious roast beef sandwich with extra horseradish sauce!

    To be honest I need near-daily reminders for everything in my life (nothing to do with an excess of brownies in my life I assure you), so rest assured, I will try to tech up and check out the podcasts. Fun!

    And I'm now getting seriously intrigued by the idea of the double bill.

    I hope you'll explain to me how SEVEN SAMURAI segues into A BUG'S LIFE. Call me slow but I'm not getting the connection...

  5. Both films are stories of a community in peril that turns to a motley crew of heroes for help.

    Of course in SEVEN SAMURAI, the village secures actual warriors...where as in BUG'S LIFE, who they believe are warriors are in fact clowns.